If I've heard it once, I've heard it a million times—“Cookies are bad, carrots are good.” Or “That’s a junk food, have something healthy instead.” These commets are made with good intentions, but they miss the mark. Labeling food as “good” or “bad” doesn’t just shape what kids eat—it shapes how they think about food, their bodies, and even themselves (confidence, self-perceptions, the list goes on).
If you take one thing from this post, it shoud be this: Food is not a moral issue. It doesn’t make people “good” or “bad.” But the way we talk about it? That can have a lasting impact. So, instead of framing food in a linear way as healthy vs. unhealthy way, let’s shift the conversation to something more meaningful that sees the nuance that exists.
Why Ditch the "Good vs. Bad" Labels?
It Creates Guilt Around Eating When we tell kids that some foods are “unhealthy,” they internalize that message. Eating ice cream isn’t just a choice—it becomes a mistake. And when kids feel guilty about food they can restrict themselves (not ideal) or eat in secret (also not ideal). Neither leads to a balanced relationship with food and both can set the tone for long-term struggle.
It Oversimplifies Nutrition We need to start teaching nuance. Food isn’t just “healthy” or “unhealthy.” Cake at a birthday party is yummy, it brings joy and connection. Fruit fuels the body with nutrients, its yummy and can also bring joy and connection. And sometimes, a grilled cheese, mac and cheese, or chicken fingers are the best option because it’s all you have time to make. Instead of focusing on “good” or “bad,” we can talk about what different foods do for us.
It Ignores Individual Needs A so-called “healthy” food for one child might be an allergy risk for another; again, food intake is nuanced. A “junk food” might be the quickest, easiest way to get calories into a picky eater or a child with sensory challenges. Instead of blanket rules, we can teach kids to listen to their bodies, tune into internal cues ("how does your body feel after eating that?") and recognize what they need.
It Can Fuel Power Struggles Telling kids they can’t have something, food or otherwise, can make it seem more desirable. Suddenly, the pizza pocket isn’t just a food—it’s a prize to be won. The cookie isn't just a treat--it's a reward. Instead of creating forbidden foods, we can focus on balance and letting kids enjoy all foods without the drama and judgement.
It Misses the Bigger Picture Healthy eating isn’t just about individual foods—it’s about patterns over time. In fact, we actually look at a child's food intake on a week to week basis not a day to day basis for this very reason. A day with chips and pizza doesn’t undo a lifetime of balanced eating. Similarly, a kale salad doesn’t automatically make a diet “healthy.” Teaching kids about variety, balance, and flexibility gives them the skills to make choices that work for them.
What To Do Instead
Talk About What Food Does for the Body Instead of “That’s junk food,” try “That food gives us quick energy, but it won’t keep us full for long.” Instead of “Eat something healthy,” try “Let’s pick something that will help your body feel strong.”
Teach Kids to Tune Into Their Bodies Help them recognize when they’re hungry, full, or need something specific. “How does your tummy feel after eating that? Did it give you the energy you needed?” Another great reflection tool is to ask "Do you feel like the taste of that food, or does your tummy feel hungry?" Kids can miss subtle signs or hunger or thirst, so helping them tune into those signs can be very empowering.
Encourage Variety, Not Perfection Some days will be veggie-packed, and balanced (think: eating the rainbow) some won’t. That’s okay. Show kids that food is about enjoyment, nourishment, and flexibility—not strict rules. Remind kids that food intake is a process that unfolds over the whole week; we're never too far gone to get back on track and we shouldn't feel like a day is a "write off" because we had two back to back birthday parties.
Make All Foods Neutral Instead of making some foods “special” and others “everyday,” treat them all as normal. Dessert doesn’t have to be a reward, and veggies don’t have to be a punishment. Avoid fear tactics ("you'll get a tummy ache..").
Model a Positive Relationship with Food Kids learn more from what we do than what we say. Enjoy your food, avoid negative talk about your own eating, and show them that all foods have a place. Honestly, this one can be tough. We may have deeply rooted food beliefs that we don't believe are riddled with diet culture's influence.
Ultimately, we want our kids to grow up with confidence in their choices, an understanding of their own needs (body and mind), and a positive relationship with food that is rooted in flexibility, not rigidity. Because food isn’t just fuel—it’s connection, culture, and joy.
Let’s make sure they see it that way, and that they feel empwoered to advocate as such when it's needed.
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