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Why I Got in Trouble for Asking Questions—And How It Changed Everything

Writer's picture: Alley Dezenhouse KelnerAlley Dezenhouse Kelner

Early in my career, I learned a hard lesson about the systems we work within. At one of my first jobs, I was reprimanded for something that, to me, felt like the most natural and ethical part of working with clients...asking about their background.

I had been paired with a client for a coverage session (i.e. not my usual client) and, wanting to provide the best support possible, I asked about their history. Who were they? What challenges had they faced? What strengths did they bring to the table?

The response I got? Stay in your lane. Just do what you’re asked.

That moment stuck with me; not because I was upset about the reprimand (though I was), but because it made me realize something fundamental: Many systems treat individuals as a collection of behaviors, not as whole people. And that wasn’t something I could accept.


Building a Different Approach

That experience became the foundation of my clinical perspective and, ultimately, the philosophies that guide us at Magnificent Minds. Here, a student’s history isn’t a footnote—it’s etched into every aspect of case conceptualization.


We are not defined by our pasts, but we can’t ignore the way they shape us. Lived experience becomes the fabric of who we are—how we interact with the world, how we interpret situations, and how we respond to challenges. And for individuals in marginalized and underserved communities, dismissing that history is harmful.


Trauma-Informed, Neurodiversity-Affirming Care as a Non-Negotiable

At Magnificent Minds, we built our foundation on a different set of values:


✔ Understanding before intervening—because behaviour is communication.

✔ Respecting lived experience—because history shapes perception.

✔ Honoring neurodiversity—because different isn’t broken.


The work we do isn’t just about teaching skills or changing behaviours—it’s about recognizing the whole person, their journey, and the systems that have shaped them.


I got in trouble for asking about a child’s background. And honestly? I’d do it again. Because every child deserves a team who sees them fully.

 
 
 

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